I know this is an old post, but after experiencing the same for almost a year, I finally decided to do something to workaround this. After some testing, I've made it. The workaround works on my ThinkPad T60 with 64-bit Win7, and it should also work on machines running at least Vista. XP? I don't know. Just try it and let me know. But there is a major change in the Task Scheduler from XP to Vista.
Use Task Scheduler. First, set up a scheduled task (don't use the wizard) with a system event trigger, "Power-Troubleshooter", event ID "1". And then, let this scheduled task run a BAT batch file when triggered. Here's the code for the BAT file:
ping /n 90 127.1>nul taskkill /im AppleSyncNotifier.exe /f ping /n 2 127.1>nul start /min "" "C:\Program Files (x86)\Common Files\Apple\Mobile Device Support\AppleSyncPref.exe" ping /n 30 127.1>nul taskkill /im AppleSyncPref.exe exit
This batch waits for 90 seconds for any sync events that might occur, kills the process, waits for another 2 seconds, and then starts the MobileMe Control Panel. After the control panel logs in your MoblieMe account, AppleSyncNotifier will be started automatically. The control panel will quit in the end. The "/f" parameter is needed to force kill the AppleSyncNotifier process at the beginning.
Notes:
1. Remember to change the path "C:\Program Files (x86)" if you're using 32-bit OS or you've installed your OS on another partition.
2. When configuring the task, please make sure you select "run only when logged in" (or something similar, I have Chinese OS). Otherwise, when starting the AppleSyncPref.exe, the control panel window won't show, and for some reason, the AppleSyncNotifier won't be restarted properly.
3. In the "conditions" (or something similar) tab, make sure you tick AWAY "start the task only when connected with power supply" (or something similar), since you want this to work especially when you're using the battery.
4. You could also try to restart only AppleSyncNotifier but not AppleSyncPref. But I haven't try if this would keep your calendars and contacts syncing or not.
After you've done everything described above, test it with the Task Manager. First, make sure the AppleSyncNotifier process is running (but not consuming 50% of CPU now), and the MobileMe icon is present in your Task Bar. Now put your laptop in to standby, wake it up again and keep your eyes on the AppleSyncNotifier process. The CPU consumption should rise very quickly. It sould be killed, AppleSyncPref started, after the control panel logs in your MoblieMe account, AppleSyncNotifier will be started also
I hope this would help people! 
